you guys were way drunker than both of me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
