You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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