Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize