Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
