How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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