they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
