Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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