he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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