Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
