is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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