So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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