fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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