You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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