nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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