i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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