Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
