Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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