we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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