She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
