Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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