phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
