I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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