Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
