too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
