Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
