And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
