so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
