i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
