Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
