After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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