I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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