No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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