question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
