I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
