Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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