I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
