I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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