hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
