I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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