I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
