I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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