ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You're like the curious george of whores
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Text me some of your sweat
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
