Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
