Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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