I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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