Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
