remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
how does that bad decision feel?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
