Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
