Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize