whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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