The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
