I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
