Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
