I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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