I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
