if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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