HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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