we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize