i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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