I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
