Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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