He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
