Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
