I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
