Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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