Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Randomize
