I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
