i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i think im in europe. pls send help
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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