she looked like the before picture.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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