I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
