She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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