OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
