Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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