I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
