And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
