He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
