even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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